Rome succumbed to a blitzkrieg of wild garbage boars last week, a coup whose effects rippled across geopolitical waters to eventually even embroil pop icon, Shakira. Now that the Eternal City is firmly within the trash hogs’ hands, a new, much more insidious threat arises across the Atlantic with eyes set on another major metropolitan center: Capybaras are amassing at the borders of Buenos Aires, and there’s not a damn thing we can do about it.
Although clearly employing far less aggressive tactics than their European allies, the giant rodents reportedly number in the hundreds at the moment, and are breeding at a rapid pace in and around the capital city suburb of Tigre. “The population has been increasing over the years,” notes news outlet, KHOU 11, and shows no signs of abating any time soon.
Unlike the aggressive boars of Italy, it is a bit more unclear what the Argentinian capybaras hope to accomplish in their siege, aside from rutting their oversized snoots through very pleasant-looking park grass.
Perhaps, taking a cue from Rome, this is some kind of Trojan Horse strategy to lure unsuspecting Argentines towards the rodents’ undeniable cuteness, before turning the tables on us all.
It is now anyone’s guess which mammalian species will next swarm a major urban environment. Raccoons flanking Boise? Lynxes descending upon London? Capuchins assaulting Boston?
If the trend continues apace, then we don’t have long to prepare for the upcoming battle. If you see more than three otters congregating in any given location, please contact us immediately. We certainly won’t be able to help much, but we do enjoy these images and videos quite a lot. Call us sympathizers, if you will, but have you seen how cute those capybara look?
Send Great Job, Internet tips to firstname.lastname@example.org