I watched Mad Men, so I know that the whole point of advertising is to sell creative lies while smoking, drinking, and brooding in your office about your mysterious past. But I can't figure out how anyone, no matter how drunk or unhappily married to the world's most glamourous depressed housewife, would think this Macy's commercial would be effective.

Was the plan here to annoy customers into shopping at Macys? Or simply to provide a handy guide of things to avoid at the store, namely Diddy's snowy playland/fragrance display, Tommy Hilfiger's face, and whatever Emeril is BAM-ing about?

Concentrating a large percentage of the universe's most irritating personalities (if all of the Deal Or No Deal models, their suitcases, and the Osmonds were also included it would be at least 80%) in one commercial doesn't make people want to shop, unless it's for two-by-fours to board up their TV sets in order to stop the terrible ads from oozing into their homes.

Then again, the point of this ad could be to obliterate Christmas-related nostalgia in all forms–why else would they involve the awesome ruining power of Donald Trump?–in the hope of creating a new holiday-season tradition involving Macys and several hollowed-out celebrities. It's not Christmas till a caricature of Jessica Simpson trips over the cord during the tree lighting!

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