Kevin Bacon can't save The Bondsman from TV hell
Prime Video's action-horror series is DOA.
Photo: Prime
Kevin Bacon scowls his way through Prime Video’s The Bondsman as if he doesn’t really want to be there—and neither will you. Echoes of vastly superior shows resonate through all eight episodes of this series about demons, bail bondsmen, and country-music singers, a program that would have an identity crisis if it had enough personality of its own to qualify. Hideously shot through with CGI that would have looked dated two decades ago, filmed with almost no sense of atmosphere whatsoever, and ground down by dialogue that rarely sounds like it’s being said by an actual human being, The Bondsman serves no purpose other than to add a few new deep cuts to the next round of “Six Degrees Of Kevin Bacon.”
TV viewers of a certain age may vaguely remember a show from Fox’s 1998 season, a time when producers were trying desperately to find the next The X-Files. That’s when the network premiered Brimstone, starring Thirtysomething’s Peter Horton as a NYC cop who went to Hell after killing the man who raped his wife. Years later, Horton is told by the Devil himself that he will be sent back to this earthly plane to capture more than 100 souls who escaped eternal damnation. It was a bomb, canceled before it even finished its first season.
Enter the remarkably similar The Bondsman, the story of a man named Hub (Bacon), a bounty hunter who is murdered in the show’s opening scene, his throat cut from ear to ear. The killing was plotted by a local tough guy named Lucky (Damon Herriman, who was so great in Justified but feels wasted here), who happens to now be sleeping with Hub’s ex Maryanne (Jennifer Nettles) and hoping to be the stepfather of his son Cade (Maxwell Jenkins).
It turns out that Hub’s demise is only temporary. His corporeal form springs back to life, complete with a hole in his throat that he’s forced to tape up so the cigarette smoke reaches his lungs. Before long, Hub’s wounds have healed, and he basically just considers himself a walking miracle, set on revenge against those who tried to take him out. It’s not until Midge (a miscast Jolene Purdy) finds him that he learns the truth: He’s now basically a bondsman for Satan. Demons have been escaping Hell, killing poor humans before taking over their bodies, and Hub has to send them back to Satan’s clutches. How he does so is one of the show’s many gray areas. Sometimes it seems to just take a shotgun.