Leslie Phillips (Dr. Tony Burke)Harry Secombe (Llewellyn Wendover)James Robertson Justice (Sir Lancelot Spratt)Angela Scoular (Ophelia O'Brien)Irene Handl (Mrs. Dailey)Simon Dee (Basil Beauchamp)Robert Morley (Captain George Spratt)Freddie Jones (Master-at-Arms)Joan Sims (Russian Captain)John Le Mesurier (Purser)Graham Stark (Satterjee)Janet Mahoney (Dawn Dailey)Graham Chapman (Roddy)Jacki Piper (Cockney Girl)Fred Emney (Father)Yuri Borienko (Sick Russian)Gerald Sim (1st Doctor)Yutte Stensgaard (Eve (Model))
Dr. Tony Burke (Leslie Phillips) is in love with Ophelia O'Brien (Angela Scoular), but doesn't have time to propose to her as she leaves for a cruise to the Mediterranean. Also, on-board the cruise ship is an old school chum of Burke's who plays "Dr. Dare" on a very popular television series, and to whom women flock. Burke decides to join the cruise, but is first apprehended as a stowaway, and then becomes the Captain's steward. For Burke, trying to talk to Ophelia is a hard enough task, but he meets some funny characters on-board, such as a pools winner, and a very stubborn Captain.