As WikiLeaks continues to dump hacked emails from Hillary Clinton campaign chair John Podesta, the Clinton camp—after weeks of refusing to dignify them—is now readying a response that will frame them as a criminal conspiracy akin to Watergate, placing the blame on a possible collusion between Donald Trump’s advisers, Russian intelligence, and WikiLeaks’ Julian Assange. For Clinton, it’s an attempt to stave off any potential political damage from what they have revealed—and might reveal still—by characterizing their publication as morally repugnant, hoping that this rhetoric is enough to sway her detractors. But there’s a far simpler solution: Clinton could just have Pamela Anderson kill Assange with a sandwich.
That was the theory that rapidly spread across Twitter and Reddit yesterday, anyway, thanks to a confluence of events that began when the Baywatch star dropped by the Ecuadorian Embassy in London. Anderson told the local press that she was visiting Assange—who’s hiding there to avoid extradition to Sweden on rape charges—because she’s a supporter, and she’s concerned about his health and family. To that end, the longtime animal rights activist brought Assange a “nice vegan lunch and some vegan snacks.” Disappointing, perhaps—Anderson joked, “He said I tortured him with bringing him vegan food.” But probably only deadly if she’d also regaled him with the story of when she‘d first decided to stop eating meat.
But then, for the first time in the history of veganism, something interesting happened. Not long after Anderson’s visit, WikiLeaks sent out three cryptic tweets, each affixed with a mysterious 64-character code:
From the photos of Pamela Anderson delivering a Pret A Manger sandwich to the Embassy, and now this string of random numbers and letters, WikiLeaks devotees were able to draw an obvious conclusion: These codes were a “dead man’s switch” triggered by Assange’s dying, and the most likely explanation was that Pamela Anderson had poisoned him.