In a secret chamber hidden underneath a house that used to belong to one of the popes or something, a man with weird hair closely examines a serious of intricate designs. No, not designs. Symbols. The kind of symbols that seem indecipherable, yet still familiar. The kind of symbols that only the world’s foremost expert in symbols could comprehend. Luckily, that man isn’t just some guy with weird hair: He’s renowned symbology professor Robert Langdon, and he knows exactly what he’s looking at.
“I know exactly what I’m looking at,” he says to his longtime traveling partner/sidekick, director Ron Howard. “I just don’t know what they mean.”
“Well, why don’t you spend a few more paragraphs describing it, or laying out your thoughts?” Howard asks, as he removes the official How The Grinch Stole Christmas baseball hat that covers his bald head. The hat’s not important, though. Renowned symbology professor Robert Langdon understands that. The symbols are what’s important. The symbols are always what’s important.
“These symbols are important.” Langdon says, running his fingers over their inexplicable shapes. He recognizes several round areas as faces, and smaller circles within them as eyes. But whose faces are they? To whom do these faces belong?
Suddenly, renowned symbology professor Robert Langdon leaps up, narrowly avoiding an attack from a nearby evil monk.
“I have it!” he shouts, startling Ron Howard. “Are you familiar with Inferno, the third movie in the Da Vinci Code series, based on Dan Brown’s book of the same name?”
“Of course I do, renowned symbology professor Robert Langdon. I, Ron Howard, am directing it. Also, we had to delay its release date so it wouldn’t have to compete with Star Wars…just like Kung Fu Panda!”
“Well, I’ve discovered that these symbols point toward a centuries-long conspiracy involving Irrfan Khan, Omar Sy, and Sidse Babett Knudsen. If I’m correct, and I always am, then all three of them will be appearing alongside Tom Hanks in Inferno!”
“Oh my…but who will they be playing?” Howard asks, dumbfounded.
“Khan, who played the grown-up Pi in Life Of Pi, will be someone called the Provost. Apparently, he’s the leader of a shadowy group. Sy, who recently appeared in X-Men: Days Of Future Past, will be the leader of a disease prevention team. Finally, Borgen star Knudsen will be playing the director of the World Health Organization.”
“Wow, you learned all of that from some symbols?” Howard looks on in awe of Langdon, who is like a demigod with weird hair and Tom Hanks-like good looks.
“Of course I did. I’m renowned symbology professor Robert Langdon.”